Ok, so you’re a couple – very much in love – who are finding their sex life has reached a point where it is banal; have you considered swinging? I can almost see a lot of readers recoiling from that suggestion, but it makes sense when you look at what swinging really is: swinging, put simply, is acting out your sexual fantasies for real.

What could be more fun? Not a lot, in truth, but it’s a big decision, and something you have to be sure about – both of you. There is no point forcing your partner into the scene against his or her will, as this will not result in excitement – only upset. If, however, both of you decide it’s worth a try, how do you go about it?

We’ll come to that in a minute, but first let’s dispel a myth: swinging is not something carried out by sad perverts in dirty macs, and nor is it an act perpetuated only by degraded dregs of society: swingers tend to be people in respectable jobs, from respectable homes, who simply want to add a little extra something into a tired and routine sex life. This you will find when you meet others, and you may be surprised who joins in.

Back the ‘how to’, then: your first resource is the internet. Swinging parties – or meets – are arranged in every town, on every weekend of the year; they are not unusual occurrence, but for obvious reasons are not publicised in the local newspaper! A browse through swinging sites on the internet will give you an idea of who to contact in the given area. Furthermore, you will find it all very private and considerate, as nobody is out to do anyone else any harm: you will be treated with absolute confidentiality, and not forced into anything at all.

Once you have decided you want to go ahead, and you find a contact, you need to decide what form of swinging the two of you wish to partake in: the popular version takes the form of a party, and involves many people. They may be all couples – this may well be specified – or there may be singles present. If you don’t wish to indulge in a party first time out, you could simply engage a singular male – or female – and try that to start with. There are many around, and they specialise in the swinging scene.

Given the uncertainty involved it is essential to observe certain protocols in the swinging scene: if something is to violent for you then avoid it – party organisers will happily inform you of a theme or type of party and warn you of such things.

Swinging has many advantages in that it is perfectly normal for a couple’s sex life to reach a plateau; it could be that entering the world of swinging may be exactly the tonic you need!